Self-love is like a beautiful diamond. Created and shaped by our experiences or pressures. It isn’t just one thing. In my self searching, I have identified 6 areas or facets that when explored and nourished, they create the foundation for full realization and expression of self-love.
I say full realization, because I believe self-love is always there. It’s just recognized or acknowledge at varying degrees. Similar to your health. Always there, just sometimes judged as good or bad depending on our circumstances. The facets of self-love I have identified are worthiness, guidance, forgiveness, trust, acknowledgement of our shadow and self-responsibility. Let’s look at each facet briefly.
Worthiness is simply explored through the question “how worthy am I to be loved?”. What beliefs around worthiness do I hold in my consciousness and unconsciousness? Do I believe I am only worthy of where/what I am? Does my worthiness have limits?
Guidance is about the degree to which I recognize and embrace my inner knowing or gut feelings. It is the acknowledgment that I know myself better than anyone and I am always guiding myself to what my heart truly desires. How well do I listen to my small, inner voice?
Forgiveness isn’t about anyone but me. Have I allowed myself the relief of forgiveness in everything I believe I have done or not done that I judge? I see it as the wisdom of each event meant to teach us something. Get the lesson and then let any judgements go. Forgiveness lets me see the perfection in everything.
Trust is also about only me. How much do I trust myself? Do I allow myself to express who I really am without judgement? To what degree do I trust the Universe to support me in this lifetime? There are so many places trust or distrust sneaks into our lives.
The shadow is such a strong influence in our self-love simply because we tend to judge it so harshly. But it is equally who we are as is the light. One way I define the shadow is to see it as those parts of myself I judge as bad, wrong or shameful. So much so that I deny they are parts of me. As Carl Jung refers to it, the unconscious mind.
Self-responsibility is owning up to knowing that I create everything in my reality. For whatever reason, I created all of this around me. Initially this felt overwhelming but as I turned the idea over in my ego, I realize the power that I must wield if I can create all this!
Above I touch briefly on each facet. No one is more important that the other. And they play off of each other. For example the belief – I am not worthy to trust my own guidance because if I did I would have to admit that I created all this mess and I could never forgive myself for doing that because that’s not who I believe I am. The image of the flower of life perfectly represents how each petal or circle interacts and together support and define self-love as the center.
This but a brief overview of the 6 facets of self-love. Each facet is important and has a huge influence in how we express our self-love. For more information and details about self-love and each of these facets visit Onderland.